Spatial Relativity
One of my favorite moments in Rome was when I was walking alone through the Borghese Park, in the northeastern quarter of the city. The sun had just set and the sky was a backlit violet, silhouetting the tall roman pines whose branches shape a graceful river delta pointing upwards. The park was almost deserted, and I walked down a gravelly path under huge old trees, listening to my footsteps and marvelling at the novelty of finding myself alone, in a green space. I stood on the edge of a slick-surfaced pond, reflecting a marble shrine to a graceful goddess, and watched the ducks. A few other people joined me but no one looked in my direction; I was blessedly, gloriously, anonymous.I was reading at the time a fantastic novel by David Mitchel, Ghostwritten, and this passage struck me as very applicable to living as a faranji in Ethiopia:
"In smaller cities people can use the space around them to insulate themselves, to remind themselves of who they are. Not in Tokyo. You just don't have the space...No, in Tokyo, you have to make your space inside your head."
In Addis, space is not as constricted as in Tokyo, obviously, but the constant press of people is there, especially during the day. You are not one among many, but one standing out among many curious onlookers, and it is exhausting. Figuring out how to create and maintain mental space is essential to getting through the days and not feel beaten down by the barrage of begging children, polio cripples, stinking sewers, aggressive men, pollution, obnoxious taxi drivers, and the pervasive discomfort/guilt about being a faranji.
In rural Ethiopia, I wonder how the people do it--there are people everywhere, no empty spaces or privacy, all facets of life conducted alongside the road, and huge families inhabit tukuls alongside the goats, cattle, camel, and sheep. You are never, ever alone. As my sister demonstrated, I can barely spend a full day with the people I love most without getting irritated, much less share one room with them over a lifetime. Ethiopians must be masters at creating their own mental space.
posted by Margot @ 2:02 AM
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